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Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Easter Jokes

Q: How do bunnies stay healthy?
A: Eggercise

Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken and the Easter Bunny?
A: A good Easter.

Q: What do you call Easter when you are hopping around?
A: Hoppy Easter!

Q: "Why are you studying your Easter candy?"
A: "I'm trying to decide which came first-the chocolate chicken or the chocolate egg!"

Q: What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?
A: A Hot Cross bunny.

Q: What do you get when you cross a bunny with a spider?
A: A harenet.

Q: What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat?
A: Thistle have to do!

Q: Is it true that bunnies have good eye sight?
A: Well you never see a bunny wearing glasses, do you?

Q: What did the grey rabbit say to the blue rabbit?
A: Cheer up!

Q: Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world?
A: It has 4 rabbits' feet.

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"

My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."

The Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"

He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service. "

Three blondes died in a car crash trying to jump the Grand Canyon and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St Peter tells them that they can enter the gates only if they can answer one simple religious question. The question posed by St. Peter is "What is Easter"?

The first blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey and are thankful..." "Wrong!, you are not welcome here, I'm afraid. You must go to the other place!" replies St. Peter.

He turns to the second blonde, and asks her the same question: "What is Easter?" The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus."

St Peter looks at the second blonde, bangs his head on the on the pearly gates in disgust and tells her she's wrong and will have to join her friend in the other place. She is not welcome in Heaven.

He then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, "Do YOU know what Easter is"? The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St Peter in the eyes, "I know what Easter is." "Oh?" says St Peter, incredulously. "Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands and feet. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder." St Peter smiled broadly with delight. The third blonde continued... "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter."